When is a conference not just a conference.

The Dyspraxia Foundation conference and 30th anniversary celebration.

I have been to and spoken at many conferences over the years but I can honestly say that the Dyspraxia Conference I attended on Sat June 23rd 2018 is the best yet!

Of course for someone who has worked closely with this Charity for many years people may feel that I am biased and perhaps I am but that is only because I know that this charity really is what it says on the box. No frills or excessive spending, just a devoted and passionate group of people who are determined to make Dyspraxia/DCD something that is recognised by everybody for the good of everybody. There is of course always that lovely 'returning to friends' feeling and a chance to catch up with people who I only see once a year as well as to meet people who i have 'met' only on social media and to form new friendships which have dyspraxia at their heart.

In national  charity terms the Dyspraxia Foundation is small in that it has very few paid staff members (who work extremely hard and at times almost buckle under the weight of demand for their services). Other than this handful of wonderful cohesive people it is kept afloat by a merry band of wonderful volunteers in all manner of roles, who wave the flag and help countless people come to terms with their challenges. 

Saturday was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of this Charity which has survived against the odds in an extremely challenging climate for charities. It is determined to continue to champion the very people that it represents.

Amongst the trustees there are three people with the condition, and I think it is testament to its beliefs that people with the lived experience help to shape the organisation and drive it forward. All the Trustees have an emotional investment in the condition and are driven by that passion that exists when one witnesses the difficulties faced by a loved one with the condition when it is poorly understood and responded to. These are people with fire in their bellies who really ache for positive change around this poorly understood condition that affects some 6% of the population. They work extremely hard, in their own time for no financial gain.

On Saturday the Charity Trustees and staff were joined by over 150 delegates for a day of learning, exploring, celebration  and  restoration.
Dyspraxia is a complex hidden disability that greatly influences living and learning skills and also bears an emotional impact often manifested in anxiety and/or depression. The keynote speaker was Dave Smithson from Anxiety Uk and the immediate and impassioned involvement of his audience underlined what an important issue this is for those that live with the condition. 

The day was cleverly and appropriately split so that there were seperate sessions running for families and professionals, youth members and adults, allowing the exploration of issues that were important to each stage of life and enabling people to get the most out of the day for them as individuals.

The Charity is rightly proud of its youth membership. A group of now 400 + individuals who discuss, share and support via a monitored facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/DyspraxiaFoundationYouth/   These young people come together at these conferences in an utter celebration of the friendships formed and solidarity shared. It is a joy to witness and they have a huge amount of positive energy and creative ideas that will also help to shape the charity as it moves forward.

The day was hosted at and by Norton Rose in London who generously sponsor these events and ensure that every person is looked after, well fed and comfortable.

The day covered topics including  the Importance of Teaching Resilience, Pathways to diagnosis,  Anxiety, Opening doors to Employment, Disclosure, Neurodiversity as the catalyst to Creativity and was drawn to a close by a positive look at the Joys of Dyspraxia by yours truly.

This small but perfectly formed Charity is  wholly dependent on voluntary contributions and membership fees to continue its services. It is currently surviving but not thriving because the resources are simply not there to employ more  much needed staff, increase the helpline opening hours, offer training and more conferences, publish information and develop services. That friends is really  down to you, the ones who have been interested enough to read this but are yet to take out membership (which is as cheap as chips).  Imagine how much more the charity could achieve if every facebook supporter (there are over 40,000 of you) became a member. You don't need a diagnosis to join our family but we are dependent on each and every one of you for  survival. Don't delay, join today by clicking this link...  https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/members/join-foundation/


A few comments from the day

'A wonderful day that I felt proud and privileged to be apart of'.

'Supportive, inspiring and restorative'

'I feel informed and energised and able to really strive for my sons support needs'

'Wow , what a brilliant day!'

'...inclusive non pressurising, allowing people to take their time and giving people the option to opt out and that people wouldn’t think less of you no matter what and those words meant so much to me'.

'If anyone has any spare change, please consider donating to the Dyspraxia Foundation so they can continue to support families and raise awareness of the condition that not everyone has heard of.'

If you didn't make it to this conference you missed a treat. As a parent or professional you would have learned so much, as a youngster you would have made new friends and as an adult felt a validation of the important person that you are.These days bring people together with an awareness of differences and difficulties and with a huge pair of invisible arms that gentle hug the people within. Everyone feels able to be themselves, free from the constraints of social norms and expectations. A true celebration of who they are and what they do. If you haven't attended a Dyspraxia Foundation Conference, put it on your bucket list, you will be SO pleased that you did.

'

Hanging up my Trustee hat.

The Dyspraxia Foundation and me.

Gill Dixon, PGCE,MA,BHScHons,RGN.

I have had a long and productive relationship with the DF and so it is with a lump in my throat that I hang up my Trustee hat and step down from a role which I have been privileged to hold. My journey with dyspraxia/DCD began way back in 1994 when I happened upon the Charity and called the helpline. I had been trying to get someone to believe that my son was at least dyspraxic but I was beginning to feel that perhaps I was wrong. Then a lovely voice (I wish I could attach a name to it) offered me some validation. I felt believed and that my opinion mattered and it gave me the strength to take up my metaphorical sword once again and return to the battle. More than a helpline, it was a life line and that call features in the top ten moments of my life.

I live in a pretty neuro diverse household, one son with a mild level of dyspraxia, one with a severe form of the condition along with various other co-existing conditions and a husband who would attract a diagnosis if he wanted one I am sure. I consider myself ‘Dyspraxic by Proxy’ because everything I do or view I execute with my mind set to how my family members will perceive it.

I went back to University at age 40 to learn more about the condition which I studied for BHScHons degree and then a Master’s degree in Disability studies where I looked at the needs of children in mainstream school and why it seemed that teachers were unable to see what to me was glaringly obvious. A cathartic journey which led to the publication of my first book (co-authored by Lois Addy) ‘Making Inclusion work for Children with Dyspraxia’.             
I have met some wonderful people and was proud to receive the first ever Mary Colley Award in recognition of my efforts. Mary was a wonderful woman who made such a difference in a life that was cut short far too soon. She had so much more to do. 

It is surprising what a difference having a string of letters after my name and a published book made to my fight and I felt compelled to share the knowledge I had acquired with others. I set up a helpline from home for families in my area, coordinated three ‘local’ support groups, ran a youth group, wrote articles and offered my services as a trainer to schools, parents, organisations…anyone who would listen.

It seemed only natural me to use my knowledge and experience to try and do something for others because I am acutely aware of the tremendous obstacles people face when they are trying to get the needs of a child with an invisible disability met. The Dyspraxia Foundation was the obvious place to be and I am proud to have been associated with the Charity for the many years that I have. The staff and volunteers have become like a second family. I can honestly say to this day that it is only at conferences and functions that are full of people with the condition, or interested in learning about the condition that I have felt totally relaxed and accepted. Being surrounded by people with who ‘get it’ is liberating and fuels ones desire to spread the word further.  I would urge anyone who hasn’t experienced that sense of belonging to book onto a conference.

The DF is a small charity doing a mammoth job. A very few paid staff at the helm, work tirelessly to make the world a better and safer place for those with dyspraxia/DCD. So many opportunities have to be put on hold because it simply does not have the resources to meet demand. It desperately needs people to become members, to support its work and to have a part in enabling it to grow and flourish. I hope very much that the helpline can find the funds it need to once again offer a full time service because that it so very close to my heart. That friendly voice in the darkest of times saying ‘I believe you’ is vital and truly life changing.

I would urge anyone who wants to support a really important Charity that receives no government funding or huge recognition to support the Dyspraxia Foundation. Some 6% of the population have the condition (that’s at least one in every classroom or office space).  Look at the website and learn more www.dyspraxiafoundation.co.uk

My one regret is that I have not met every single volunteer whose efforts really do ensure the charities survival. Every single one of you is valued and your efforts are inestimable. 

Yes, it is time for me to hang up my Trustees hat and move over for younger, more energetic and enthused people. I will always be on side though and my work with and for the DF will continue I am sure. If I was a stick of rock, it’s fair to say that dyspraxia would be written right through me. How could I completely leave the dyspraxia family?  Please support it and help it to both survive and thrive.

Gills books are all available from www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk.

Dyscover Yourself. Aimed at 4-10 year olds.
Making Inclusion work or children with Dyspraxia. For parents/carers and education professional.
Dyspraxia The Foundations. For families, teachers, health professionals and anyone interested in knowing ore.

Gill’s Hog Blog Number 5 or A Post from the Palace.

Hedgehogs - The Gardeners Friend

It is a common myth that hedgehogs come into our gardens and eat up all the slugs and snails. They are actually a little more sophisticated than that. 

Hedgehogs are insectivores (and opportunistic omnivores in times of need). Their foods of choice (beetles and caterpillars) are becoming less and less available.

 

Weed killers have a devastating impact and gardens are rather too tidy for wildlife conservation. Nature has a fantastic way of keeping things in balance and it doesn't take many weed killer free seasons for your garden to be able to look after

itself. Hedgehogs can make enormous inroads into the so called 'pest' population of your garden.

They love the larvae of moths and butterflies including those of the infamous cabbage white which often devastate the veg patch.

 

When there is a choice the hedgehog will naturally pick on the creatures with the highest nutritional value.  Tasty fast moving beetles, with the strawberry seed beetle being a particular favourite. Weevils are another important food source , along with the cockchafer beetle which cause enormous damage to the roots of vegetables. Click beetles, which devastate potato crops and wireworms are also featured on their varied, balanced menu.

 

Interestingly ladybirds (who have an inbuilt chemical insect repellent) are not eaten because they have an apparently acrid taste. This is a fabulous arrangement as they eat the aphids higher up on plants while hedgehogs concentrate on the ground level stuff. Nature's very own version of Groundforce

 

The chemical secretions of the millipede which can damage plants at ground level, attract the hedgehog and are a favourite food source. Together with earwigs, caterpillars, aphids and beetles they make up the bulk of the diet. Imagine the effect on the hedgehog when humans douse these critters in insect killing agents.  It is a terrible way for them to die.

 

In high summer they will eat crane flies and ants, flies and maggots. 

They will also eat carrion left by the family cat or large birds .Earthworms are way down the menu.

Hedgehogs are fantastic and effective pest controllers, so why not encourage them into your garden, sit yourself down and let them do the bulk of the work.

 

 

Notes

 

• Please think carefully before using weed killers or slug pellets. If they were called wildlife killers would they be so popular?

• Please feed dried Calci worms sparingly. They are like giving cake to children. Lovely and desirable but not very nutritious.
• Leave a little wild area for wildlife to thrive and a gap for hedgehogs to enter and exit.

 

 

 

Gill Dixon runs Pricklington Palace Hedgehog rescue here in Howden. Purely voluntarily and single handily. Please visit  www.facebook.com/pricklingtonpalace/ to support her work. Donations via www.paypal.me/Dixon1829

Tales from the Palace.

Gills Hog Blog Number 4

First Aid.

Spring is here and creatures are stirring. Hedgehogs are out and about, building nests and trying to put on the weight hey have lost over hibernation. It's a great time to put out some cat biscuits or wet food and a saucer of water (not bread and milk which WILL kill them!)

Pricklington Palace is all spic and span and ready for the inevitable admissions which occur usually when man and hedgehog come into contact with each other.

If you find a hedgehog out and about during daylight hours it will almost certainly be in trouble. The exception to that rule is a nursing mum who may be out trying to  find food or nesting materials. She will be bright eyed and moving with purpose (please leave her alone). You may disturb a nest of hoglets...don't touch them (mum will eat them if she smells humans on them). Try and repair the damage and stand back and watch. Mum should return and will probably move the nest. 
Tiny hoglets out and about on their own are probably orphans and need immediate help.

Don't watch a hedgehog out in the daylight for days on end until it is so sick it can't be saved. Intervene, or give me a call for advice (07910129914).

First things first.
The most important thing in times of trouble is warmth and fluids. Put on a pair of gloves or handle the hog through a towel . Pop it into a steep sided box with some straw or an old towel to hide under and a covered hot water bottle or old drinks bottle with a sock on. Offer some water (add a little sugar if you like) and if the hog is active a little wet meaty cat food. Place it somewhere quiet and dark and avoid showing it to everyone who asks.

Take them to your nearest vet or rescue centre (Me!!!).
Vets will administer first aid free of charge so don't worry about a fee and they will then call me to collect the hog.

Common 'ailments'.

Flystrike.
Little clusters of creamy rice like matter is fly eggs. They tend to be seen in the soft areas (eyes/ears/mouth/anus). Hedgehogs who are dying exude a scent that is irresistible to flies and they gather on them to lay their eggs. The eggs hatch quickly and the maggots will eat the hedgehog alive. Every single last egg must be removed (there will be thousands). A hedgehog with this will need intensive care and it is not a 'DIY' scenario. Please act quickly and get the hog to a rescue or vet.

Ticks.
A hedgehog can cope with a few of these but it doesn't take many to debilitate a small hedgehog. Removal is an art form as it is very easy to leave the mouth parts in place and cause abscesses to form. If you are not sure how to remove them please take to someone who is. There are special tools for the job.

Mites and Ringworm.
I have put these together as the effects are very similar. Beware, Ringworm is highly infectious to humans and household pets. This needs specialist attention.

Fleas
Hedgehogs do occasionally become infested with fleas nut usually will only have a few. They are species specific (Archaeopsylla erinacei) so cannot live on humans, cats or dogs. Do not be tempted to treat them with your domestic pets flea killer. It will cause death to the hedgehog.

Internal parasites
Hedgehogs host a  variety of internal parasites which when they are stressed or compromised (by captivity for instance) will multiply.These can only be seen via a microscope in a faecal sample.Every hedgehog who comes into The Palace is checked for internal parasites at least three times. Different worms require different medications. Some are a nuisance and others are life threatening.

Injuries.
hedgehogs often come into rescues due to attacks by domestic dogs or with injuries from strimmers, spades or lawnmowers or having ingested poisons. Please be careful when you start your gardening and if you are going to light a  bonfire please check for hedgehogs first. I will spare you the images of those unlucky creatures who have suffered these injuries as they are not pretty.Hedgehogs are resilient creatures and with the right support they can overcome huge issues.


A note: hedgehogs are wild animals, that do not like human intervention. They look cute and rarely bite but that does not mean that they want to be handled and petted. Please if you find a hedgehog who you think is in trouble, contain it and call a rescue for advice. 

Why not leave a wildlife corridor around your garden (an area of long unended grass) .

The British Hedgehog Preservation Society can be called on 01584 890801


A quick 'diagnosis' chart can be found at 
http://www.hedgehog-rescue.org.uk/diagnosis.php

    Please let someone with experience check a hedgehog over in the first instance.

Rescue, rehabilitate, release. 

Gill Dixon runs Pricklington Palace Hedgehog rescue here in Howden. Purely voluntarily and single handedly. Please visit  www.facebook.com/pricklingtonpalace/ to support her work. 

Donations via www.paypal.me/Dixon1829

Gills Hog blog No 3. Hibernation.

A Post from the Palace.

Hibernation.  One of nature's miracles.

Gill Dixon, PGCE,MA,BHScHons,RGN.

(Guy Troughton)

Hedgehogs are one of the few mammals that practice hibernation and it is thought that they do so in an effort to conserve energy when food availability is poor.

Interestingly in recent years rescuers are noting that some hedgehogs do not hibernate at all and if you are one of the wonderful people who support feed hedgehogs, please continue to do so. hedgehogs arouse periodically during hibernation and a handy feast may make all the difference to their success.

Hibernation is a perilous business because it isn't just a matter of snoozing away the winter months. It is a process whereby a warm blooded mammal  almost becomes a  cold blooded one. They undergo massive physiological changes to enable this fascinating transformation. They don't always get it right and there are no guarantees that they will be successful and survive.
Sleep is not an apt description as during sleep all bodily functions remain more or less the same as they are when awake. Bodily functions remain normal, keeping the brain and other organs unconsciously active.

A sleeping hedgehog. The feet and nose are visible. 

When hedgehogs are sleeping they move and twitch and can be seen dreaming but when they are in hibernation they come to a complete standstill. To the untrained eye they appear dead. The hedgehog is cold to touch and inactive although its spines may undulate or stand up if touched or subjected to noise. However it's brain is closed down whilst remaining functional. 

A hibernating hedgehog is an impenetrable ball.

 A normal heartbeat for a hedgehog can be up to 280 beats per minute but this may drop to a barely detectable 20. Its body temperature which is normally 35c drops to 5 degrees and it may only take a breath every few minutes. Some are reported to be apnoeic for up to an hour.  A fall that would kill most other mammals.
This amazing transformation doesn't stop there, around 90% of the white blood cells congregate around the stomach and intestines, ready to fight invading bacteria.  The blood vessels around the kidneys close to avoid excretion of urine (wasting vital fluids).  The pancreas is the one organ that remains fully functional in order to secrete insulin and keep the blood sugar levels low.


This phenomenal change in bodily functions enables the hedgehog to use its fat reserves to sustain it.
Ideally two types of fat are laid down prior to hibernation. White fat which is like a slow burn fuel, while brown fat is a supercharged fuel. If the hedgehogs temperature falls too low (risking it freezing) the brown fat is ignited and quickly produces heat which warms the hedgehog over a few hours enabling it to wake and move somewhere better insulated. A hibernating hedgehog usually moves nest at least once.
It is not until November, December or January that the larger hedgehogs settle down to hibernate. It is a last resort, as an inactive mammal is a vulnerable one.
Hibernation is thought to be triggered by a prolonged fall in temperature, reduced daylight hours and lack of food, but  while It is commonly thought that hedgehogs hibernate from autumn through the winter until the spring, this is not so. Hedgehogs do not have the luxury of calendars; they react to the environment around them
Hedgehogs build themselves a hibernacula, a secure nest in which they spin the bedding materials to make a weather resistant and well insulated shelter.They are masterpieces of natural engineering.
The hedgehog may rouse periodically (and use a great deal of energy doing so) and some may not hibernate at all, so don't worry if you see a good sized hedgehog out and about on a winters' night. Just offer it some meaty cat food or cat biscuits and a drink of water and wish it well. 

Hedgehogs  need to have some fat reserves to survive hibernation and that is why Pricklington Palace and other rescues fill up with autumn juveniles that are simply too small to survive the process. They are kept warm until they are big enough to survive hibernation (over 650g) and then the heat is removed. 

At Pricklington Palace I do not overwinter hedgehogs endlessly just because it is winter. Once hogs reach a respectable weight to size ratio,  I continue to release in winter. Current research suggests that this is perfectly acceptable and our winters are on the whole very mild compared to decades ago. A study conducted by  R Yarnell et al in 2019   outlines definitively that hedgehogs can be successfully released back into the wild over winter.

More enlightened rescuers will release IF the weather is calm, there is a food source and adequate nesting sites and materials. The decision to release will also reflect where in the country the rescue is as temperatures can vary enormously.

Despite numerous studies on hibernation in hedgehogs, a specific trigger (or triggers) has yet to be identified. Reeve (1994) suggests it is triggered by a complex interplay of environmental and hormonal  factors. Anyone who is interested to know more would be well advised to read Reeves' excellent chapter Hibernation and Energetics in his book as referenced below.

The commonly agreed suggestion is that it is a response to a prolonged period of cold (below 5 degrees centigrade) reduction in daylight hours and a lack of available food.

There’s no evidence that failing to hibernate is detrimental to a hedgehog’s health, provided there’s sufficient food around and it is possible that our increasingly mild winters and an increase in the numbers of people support feeding hedgehogs may result in less hedgehogs undertaking the process.

Not all hedgehogs will hibernate, so those that are too small  may continue to put on weight if there is a food source and they do not need to be scooped up and 'rescued' unless of course they show them selves to be in need by appearing in daylight or being obviously injured or unwell.  Hibernation is a dangerous enterprise and there is no reason a hedgehog should undertake it if they really don't need to. People should definitely not be hunting for and weighing animals at night. This is contrary to various pieces of wildlife  legislation and not in the hogs best interest at all. A hedgehog out after dark should be allowed to go about its business. To imprison a fit nomadic animal in a small box or hutch for months on end is surely tantamount to cruelty and will cause untold stress leading to illness in the hedgehog. 

Far better to offer shelter and a reliable food source.

Here on my patch in rural  East Yorkshire, hedgehogs continue to visit my feeding stations throughout the year.

People often ask me what is a safe weight for hedgehogs to survive hibernation and the answer is that there are no guarantees that it will survive at all. However hedgehogs 450g and under are considered to be at more risk of dying if they attempt the process. The general consensus amongst rescuers seems to be that 650g is the minimum safe weight during the worst weeks of winter but some wildlife experts consider that 500g and above is perfectly reasonable.

Note:
If you dig up/disturb a hibernating hedgehog, try to replace it without further disturbance. Do not warm it rapidly or it will die.

 

Gill Dixon, until recently  ran Pricklington Palace Hedgehog rescue in Howden. Purely voluntarily and single handedly. 

She now administrates an information hub which can be found at https://www.facebook.com/pricklingtonpalace

Ref: 

Reeves, N (1994) Hedgehogs Pub: Poyser Natural History. London.

Yarnell,R et al (2019) Should rehabilitated hedgehogs be released in winter? A comparison of survival, nest use and weight change in wild and rescued animals. European Journal of Wildlife Research.

A Chronic sorrow. (Invisible disability)

I have been wanting to write a blog about how it feels to fight constantly for a person who you love more than life itself. I don't want it to sound self indulgent or pitying though and I have found the  balance elusive. I want to describe what it is like at times to inhabit the world of disability. To swim against a constant and ever stronger current of questions, squeeze through ever tighter hoops and increasingly high hurdles in an effort to have someone's needs met. I am not a negative person by nature, the exact opposite in fact, one of life's optimists who tries to see the good in everything and everybody. At times though circumstances conspire to floor me and send me spiralling downwards into what doctors call a 'reactive depression' and I call despair.  Due to circumstances beyond my control and out of my reach I sometimes watch a total lack of understanding of a mind that works differently, an agonising story that plays out in a lonely, slow motion epic.

I won't go into details of what inspired this outpouring. I had experienced a train wreck of a year. I want to explain that I am generally positive about life and my now 30 year old son is a joy, a gift to the world, a gentle soul who depends entirely on the kindness, understanding and honesty of others.
Sadly his innocence, his ease of trust, his inability to recognize malice sometimes leads him into places which are dark and harsh and unyielding. He navigates the world without a compass, he at times makes poor choices and he gets into trouble. He has a whole host of invisible disabilities, a complex interplay of things which are just too much for one mind to successfully work with without support and understanding.

He is guilty only of innocence.

I  worked with the Dyspraxia Foundation for some 23 years. A Charity whose helpline saved me when everyone else seemed to think I was making up the difficulties my son experienced. It was been a fruitful time, I have learned so much. 

At 40 years old I went back to University and studied his difference, gaining a BHSc (with honours) and then a MA in Disability Studies. A PGCE followed enabling me to teach.  

Jean Ayres in her wonderful book 'Sensory Integration and the Child'  said 

' Mothers of children with problems carry a tremendous emotional load. Sometimes the weight of the problem seems too much to much to bear, and the presence or severity of the problem is denied in order to cope. Or parents recognize the severity and then they search and search for better answers to a difficult situation'  (pvii)

I was definitely one of the searchers. I researched as a kind of cathartic exercise because the lack of real motivation to help him perplexed me, the judgemental looks, the tuts and sighs. It really helped me and informed me to learn in depth about the fearfulness that surrounds disability, the 'thank goodness it isn't me' mentality. I then  set about changing the world. I have to date had three books published and lectured around the country to raise awareness. I do see some subtle shifts, some positive changes for the better, a greater representation of disabled people on the TV and in film but on the whole I find a world that doesn't really 'get' those that appear just like anyone else and yet behave somehow differently from the expected 'norm'. Those with invisibility disabilities (and there are many).
The actress Sally Phillips who has a son with Downs Syndrome recently said 

                 ' My friends pity me and yet I think they should be jealous of me'.

 I love that comment. My son greets me every day with a smile that is so full of complete love and trust, he takes the world head on, forgives unkindness in a flash and never speaks badly of anyone. NEVER. The world would undoubtedly be a much better and kinder place if it were full for people with his exquisite soul. People would be surprised to learn that he suffers with an anxiety disorder I am sure.
I recently read the book 'Birdsong' by Sebastian Faulks and a quote really struck me when one of the characters who had a son with learning disabilities said of his son

 ' His innocence was not the same thing as ignorance, it was a powerful quality of goodness that was available to all people, it was perhaps what the Prayer book called a means of grace, or hope of glory' . 

 I love that expression a 'powerful quality of goodness' because I believe it is something that we are possibly all born with but those with learning disabilities seem able to hang onto, whilst the rest of us are tarnished and dented by life experiences.

I placed my son in supported living at age 25 years for two reasons. I wanted him to learn to cope without me and I was unable to keep him safe from exploitation by others. You see he walks a boundary, between 'able' and 'disabled', he feels well placed in both (sadly ever separate) worlds. He looks just like any other  guy. He is though an open book and there are always those ready and willing to exploit and humiliate difference.
Don't get me wrong there are lots of really kind people who are willing to, and do protect and look out for him, but no one can truly keep him safe...not even me. He has a condition that absolutely affects the way he perceives the world and how to manage himself within it. It makes him 'extremely vulnerable to  exploitation'. It makes me extremely scared for him.

I am immensely proud and privileged to have him as my son, but that love does come with something that I call a chronic sorrow. A sorrow that he doesn't have buddies calling on him to take him on a night out, a sorrow that people sometimes treat him as less able than he is, a sorrow that he didn't get academic qualifications because that set him up for a world where no one is prepared to employ him. A sorrow that he can't drive a car. A sorrow that he spends New Years Eve with his boring parents and not out partying and a sorrow that he doesn't have the partner he would very much like (yet). A sorrow that everything is and will always be so much harder for him. And yet he rarely lets his struggle show.

He has a full and productive life, he is busy and well liked and we are lucky in so many ways but I just want to get across to people that while I know that there are so many positive things attached to having a 'child' who learns and lives differently and I do appreciate and celebrate that fact but there are occasions when I am not Ok with it and I am writing this because I believe that I can't be the only mother who feels like that. Its true that small achievements become immense celebrations, life is more colourful and random. There is though a real loneliness at times, an isolation in watching someone struggle with the everyday things that others take for granted. Watching your friends youngsters grow and achieve and marry and have kids. I LOVE that they are doing that, I am so happy for them, but I am on the outside. I function on the perimeter of 'normal life'. I often feel that  I don't truly belong and I isolate myself from the communities that  am often desperate to be part of. I don't often let my hair down in case I get a phone call and need to drive to him in an instant. I keep my phone on all the time. I hate letters in brown envelopes because they are usually something I don't want to deal with anymore and they fill me with dread. I have lost confidence, cherished friends, at times my sanity.  I have gained a great deal too.

Every time he is not accepted to do something he really wants to do. It hurts, really hurts (me, not him) because I want the world to include him, to make adjustments to support and make things successful for him. I want the world to see the person that I see. I want the world to be kind and to love him and to know that when I am no longer here he will be safe. I want people to challenge those who are uncomfortable in his presence, to make a stand for his absolute right to participate in the things he loves, and to give him the opportunity to adjust and adapt. When that doesn't happen, or even worse when he is grossly misjudged it completely floors me.

So if you are a professional person reading this ( 'we' tend to meet lots of professional people on our journey) please remember that we are generally happy, we do love our children but the world is so full of pressures that work against us that sometimes we are really sad, and that's OK.

We like the positivity, we enjoy the messages of support and glee, the positive stories, the anything's possible mentality but we also write the endless letters and wade through a mass of unwieldy bureaucracy and form filling, and assessments, and appointments when we just want to be playing in the sunshine and eating ice cream.

We never stop grieving  for 'what might have been'. That doesn't make us grim and negative, it makes us human.

Have I changed the world? I guess to a tiny degree I have. That's Ok.  Every person who is informed is a huge plus. Please though folks remember that lots of families deal with lots of additional pressures due to their children's perceived disabilities. Just like everyone else they are just wanting the best for their loved ones. Often that is etched with a chronic sorrow......

Gills Hog Blog 

A little Hog History.

I have recently read a fascinating book written by the late great Les Stocker, founder of St Tiggywinkles (the first wildlife teaching hospital in Europe).  I thank him for sharing  what he knew so enthusiastically and for everything he and his team did and continue to do for hedgehogs.

The hedgehog has a chequered history, and it is really a marvel that it has survived at all. Many were eaten by the ancient britons, and certain parts of the animal were considered to be excellent cures for various ailments and so they were widely hunted. Konrad of Megenberg told how hedgehog flesh was good for the stomach as long ago as 1350.

The Romans used the skins (dried and cured) to card out wool, but more recently the skins were used to prod horses over show jumps.

There were those who were keen to study rather than expolit and Aristotle in the fourth century BC observed and wrote of the 'echinus'.
He along with Albert the Great (13th century) spoke of how the movements of the hedgehog could be used to determine wind direction. 
The Romans also considered the hog useful in the forecasting of weather and wrote that the hog would exit from hibernation on Feb 2nd and if he saw his shadow he would return to his burrow for another six weeks of winter.
A well known story by Pliner the Elder told of hedgehogs who climbed trees in order to knock off the fruit which it would then throw itself upon in order that the fruit stuck to its spines for transportation. Quite an imagination!

(circa 1320 Cambridge)

In medieval Britain it was believed that hedgehogs suckled the milk of cows and this led to the  creatures being slaughtered in their thousands. Farmers persecuted them and in 1566 an Act of Parliament offered a reward for every hedgehog caught. Hedgehog hunting became quite a lucrative pass time.

The Bard himself, William Shakespeare spoke of them as wicked spirits and vermin and soon the whole world began to despise them.

Even the Church offered rewards for hedgehogs killed in churchyards and right up until in the last century some counties in England were still paying out for the corpses. 
It took another Act of Parliament in 1863 to repeal the law but goodness knows how many creatures perished  before this.
Sadly the hedgehog was then accused of egg stealing  and gamekeepers seized the opportunity to clear more from their estates . As recently as 1976  a scientific research programme established that in one estate in East Anglia, 260 hedgehogs a year were routinely slaughtered.


Thank goodness then for  Beatrix Potter who introduced a whole generation of us to the delightful Mrs Tiggy-Winkle . She is considered extremely important for bringing the hedgehog back into favour. 

That and the reignited interest of the natural word brought about by the horrors of war,led to the insignificant hedgehog becoming a banner of the new caring society and it adorned a whole range of stamps in Europe.

With all this positive exposure the much maligned hedgehog gained a popular image and they are now a much loved creature, but one that is in rapid decline. Numbers have declined from an estimated 30 m in the 1950's to 1.5 million today.

It is interesting to note that whilst they are now considered an endangered species  they only benefit from partial protection under the Wildlife & Countryside Act (1981).

It would seem to me that our only indigenous spiky mammal, which we know for certain  were firmly established in Britain by the middle Pleistocene period about 2 million years ago have earned their place on our shores.
I certainly hope that they will not be assigned to the history looks but sadly current research indicates that it is a very likely scenario. The fate of the hedgehog is in our hands. and with Spring around the corner I would urge you to resist the temptation to use weed killers in your garden and give the hedgehog chance to clear your space of those pesky plant eating insects. Lets keep them out of the history books.

Gill, until recently, ran a very busy and successful rescue. she now concentrates on raising awareness in an effort to help this endangered and very precious little mammal.